What does it say about me that...
I have no idea what my husband's cell number is, but I can type my 9 digit library card number without thinking?
I know it is time to clean the floor by the condition of Marshall's outfit, or the fact that he is trying to eat lunch from what ended up on the floor from breakfast.
I think that I have eaten well when I feed my kids vegetables.
I no longer use an alarm clock now that I have kids. My kids set my schedule.
A few classes that I really would have used in my life:
How to be a jungle gym 101: I imagined that I would be many things in my life, I did not expect to be a jungle gym. There is no such thing as personal space as a mom. I've had many a bruise to prove it.
Basics of Bodily Fluids: You name it, I've had in on me and washed it out of my clothes. I know if it's bad when it's one color, and not to freak out if it is another. I am hardened to smells and textures. Ear fluid is gross and surprisingly pungent. Mamahood is not for the weak of heart. One bodily fluid I am not good with? Blood. So far, so good with that one though (knock on wood).
Crash Course in Extreme Sleep Deprivation: Some women have the skill for getting their babies to sleep well. I don't have it. I think it has something to do with the fact that I never completely wake up, therefore, forming coherent thoughts is almost impossible. There are nights that I don't see what time it is until I have Marshall and I am nursing him. And, then there are nights, my neck can testify, where I don't wake up to put him back to bed until 2 hours later. I would ask these women how they train a baby to sleep who is sharing a bedroom with a sibling? And, between getting sick, teething, traveling, and growth spurts I would like to know how many times one must teach their child to sleep again? One skill I do have? I can fall back asleep as soon as my head hits the pillow.
Intro to Health Care: This would include how to know how high your kid's fever can get before you waste 500 bucks on some Tylenol at the emergency room at 12:00 at night. It would teach you to be a guru on how many days your child can throw up and still be "typical." I don't know how many times I've wasted a copay on "It's just a virus, just give him some Tylenol and watch him be completely miserable for the next few days." If only I'd known!