Not as Bad as it Sounds

So, the other day I went to the doctor to have a small bump removed that had grown in my elbow-pit, if you know what I mean. The doctor thought that it would be really quick and easy so, I thought I could handle it. When I get there the nurse hands me a paper to sign saying that it is OK to perform surgery on me. I laughed, and thought I would have hammed it up a bit if I'd known I was going to get SURGERY. Then, as I waited for the doctor, I started to look around the room. There were big tanks of who knows what kind of gas, there were cabinets labeled for different kinds of splints, bandages, and numbing medicines. At first I thought this was novel; I had never been in this room in the doctor's office. I have never broken a bone or even had to get stitches. But, looking at the bed with the big light above it I began to get a bit nervous. I hate needles, and the idea of being cut open, no matter how small, just gives me the willies. Anyway, The doctor gets there, and we get started. I carefully look away so I don't see anything going into my arm, and take deep breaths when I feel the sting of the numbing medicine. I have had two babies, so I have had to develop a few coping techniques. I stared at the ceiling and counted dots, I tried desperately to think of a happy place, I reviewed the plot of the last book I read; and that got me through five minutes. I asked how much longer it would take and he said he didn't know. Five minutes later he says he says the bump isn't what he thought it was. Five minutes later the nurse leans over and says "that's big." I said, "don't say that," and she laughed. Finally, the Doctor made a diagnosis. It was a tumor. A benign fatty tumor... not a big deal, but a tumor none the less. After twenty minutes of digging around in my arm, he got it out and me stitched up. I was depleted of coping techniques, and on the verge of a serious wig out, so that was a good thing. I came home with four stitches and a sore arm, but if I''d known I was going in for "surgery" to have a "big" "tumor" removed, I would have been prepared with more happy places.